Being in stationary/"can't go anywhere because the Icarus' guts are literally hanging out in the open" mode has afforded me the ability to tell you things on a regular basis.
Though, Lois mentioned that I should look into if Verizon will allow me to twitter things, and if I will not be charged because I have an unlimited texting plan. Anyone know the answer to this one?
The Icarus repairs are going along semi-well. Ethan has fixed the problems we had, but discovered new ones or while repairing- as I mentioned in my last post- things fell apart at his finger tips from being swiss-cheese rusted out. So new problems have arisen. Of course, we should be able to leave here either tomorrow night or Friday afternoon without problem. It's just that, he said, we'll want to get those other things fixed asap.
I'm not kidding about any help is accepted. Nothing is too small, even if you just repost our tale elsewhere to your own friends. I've tried to be more upbeat in past posts, like we've received a bunch of people offering anything, but really, it's been strangely quiet. I thank the few people who have stepped forward in our time of need with whatever they can offer; it is very much appreciated. It kind of shows me who is listening along to this weird little radio play we've got going on and who only swings by when they remember we exist. :'\
I watched a Dresden Dolls concert this evening with the Captain. Listening to Trash McSweeney sing "Mad World" brought me to tears. That song kills me every time. I think it must be the lyrics, because even Tears for Fears do it.
I'm really contemplating something drastic to change my physicality. I'm a little irritated and unhappy with it. I keep seeing people who, despite their shape or size or skin tone, find "their" look and work it. Nay, rock it.
I need to find "my" look. Something that I can wear and it will just look plain good on me. Sometimes, I would ask Rapture for his opinion of how something looks, and he tells me I look great, and then later I would see pictures and be disappointed. I'm sure to him I looked great, but it just wasn't doing it for me. One of the things I've been really aware of as far as my own sense of self-image goes, is that I know I won't be 100% happy until I find myself attractive. And really, that's not a bad thing to go on, except that I am extremely judgmental on the physical when it comes to attractiveness on women. But, if I can even get to be like 80% happy that would be good, right? ^_^
So, I'm considering hacking off a lot of my hair, and curls and frizz be damned.
This is, of course, something I need to consider for a while. Plus, problem, I'm not exactly a hairstylist and we come back to the little issue of me not knowing what looks good on me.
I feel like I need someone to dress me and do my hair and then say "Okay, this is what looks good. Stop doing all those other bland, plain, frumpy things, because you look gorgeous like this, and you know it."
Don't you hate how every now and then you can look into the mirror, see yourself, and think "Wow, I look great" and its quickly followed by "Why can't I look like this to everyone at all times?"
So I'm gonna get going now. Because I can't get all personal when people may come in the room. It throws things off for me. I've always worked alone, late at night, with no one around. It lets me focus on just myself and my own thoughts. ::shrug:: Plus, I don't like people reading what I'm writing until I'm done, because when I'm done, that's fine. It's been polished and you can't watch my brain think as I type at that point.
But... I miss writing. I actually was thinking, this morning as I laid here in this room that is not my own but that reminds me of my grandmother's guest room and with a Bengal kitty cat at my feet, that I'd like to have a laptop. But then I remembered that I hate them so, and would love to design a laptop-desktop hybrid.